I just bought a box full of meat! It was amazing. This guy came to the door and asked me if I liked steak. I was like, Hell yeah I do! So he was like, Come with me to my truck. I followed him to his pickup truck and it had a giant freezer in it. He dips his face in this white monster of a freezer and pulls out this box of steak that was about the size of a case of beer -- any cut you can think of, he had it. He said he was trying to get rid of it, so if I bought one box, he'd throw in another for free AND he'd pack my freezer (I declined this, I did not want the meat man in my house). He also had pork and chicken. Fuck chicken! I said. He said it has a year guarantee (although I don't know if you can guarantee meat. What if I cook it wrong? I have his phone number: "Hey, Meat Guy! I burnt my fucking steak, send more!").

So now I have a idiot-sized quantity of meat (pork and steak) and I can't fit it all in the freezer. The Meat Angel has left and my meat is melting.